I guess I've become public enemy number one. Yes Kari does live here with me cuz she spends more nights here than at her parents home. Does that mean we are commiting sexual sins, no. Am I walking on thin ice in that regard, maybe. But I know the consquences of results of actions and choices. Do I mind when a fellow brother comes along side and checks up on me and sees how my walk is, no. Do I even mind if you ask if I've stayed pure, no. But what I might not like is being treated differently or being judged on decisions I've made. I'll be the first to admit if I mess something up. And if I do mess something up then I won't need comdenation or rebuking (cuz quite honestly GOD is good enough at that) but I will need Brothers to stand beside me and help me.
I also think that it took guts to let you guys know that Kari spend A LOT of time here including nights instead of trying to hide it from you. But if you guys want to remain in the blue about things let me know. I'll be generic then and not the DRAPER you all are used to. But I don't think that is what any of you want. You are all my friends and I don't want that to change. I am still Draper and that won't change. I know the FATHER loves me and HE loves all of you too. So again I say that I have not commited sexual sins nor will I. I will wait until I'm married. Please feel free to respond. I would love open and honest dialogue.
I LOVE YOU KARI
PAX
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6 comments:
Dan,
You are not public enemy number one. And I apologize up front for this being long.
I’m glad that you know that the Father loves you and that you are not committing sexual sin. But being treated differently based on your decisions is biblical, 1 Cor 5:9-13. If you claimed to be a Christian and were having sex with Kari, then Paul says I am to rebuke you and if that doesn’t work, then not associate with you. If you no longer claimed to be a Christian and were having sex with Kari, I am to treat you like an unbeliever cause that’s your prerogative. I’d think you a coward and a chump, but since you were not claiming to be a Christian, then I couldn’t judge you. Since you are holding onto the Faith and not sinning with Kari, then, hey, we’re cool. Doesn’t mean I won’t check up on you and give you my input like you said in your post (see below).
If you do mess up, don’t think that we wouldn’t a) rebuke you if you didn’t recognize and repent that you messed up or b) accept your sin and move on with you if you did recognize and repent. Again, your choices and actions will determine how your brothers respond to you. That’s the way it works. I don’t care if you’re 2,000 miles away, we still have your back. Can’t ditch us that easy. :-)
It does take guts to be up front with us. I won’t deny that. But that doesn’t excuse us from then being up front with you. I want you to continue to be honest. I want to continue to be your friend.
And as your friend, I would now like to share my heart with you. While living with Kari and not committing sexual sin is not wrong per se, it is incredibly stupid. What you’re doing terribly hampers your witness. What is the first thing someone thinks when somebody says they’re living with their girlfriend? That they’re trying out the marriage thing without the title. That definitely has a hint of sexual immorality to it (again I believe you when you say you’re not sinning. But it doesn’t necessarily sound that way, ya know?) Second, it definitely it does put you on thin ice. God tells us to flee temptation, to not even go near it. Proverbs 5:1-14 says that the wise man is to stay far away from, to not even go near, the temptress’ house. You Sir enter her house every day and every night and lock the door behind you. Proverbs calls you stupid. I think you should move out. I don’t care that you just moved in with her. Move out.
Now, why am I being so emphatic and so harsh (positive spin would be “upfront”)? Because I have had a friend, from Multnomah mind you, who, after leaving Multnomah, moved in with his girlfriend and promptly stopped going to church and from what I can tell, has left the faith. He said they were not sleeping together, but their public affection level indicated otherwise as time progressed. Steph and I tried to confront them on it (while they were claiming to be Christians) and they refused to listen to us and haven’t talked to us since. That was almost three years ago. Steph and I haven’t pursued a relationship with them since because I think Paul tells us not to.
Also, within the last six weeks, I have heard of numerous, I mean numerous, people our age who are doing incredibly stupid things in their marriages. I don’t want to find out about you falling into sin before you’re married (nor after, but you get what I mean… :-)).
Again, Dan, let me emphasize that I consider you my friend. I care for your well being. I understand if I have upset you. But it needed to be said. I don’t want to see you mess up like I have so many other people. You are better than that. But when you’re living with the woman you love, and you’re not yet married, you’re setting yourself up for failure.
Ditto, hutch
- Fogey
who has a fatherless niece and scarred family because someone decided to 'play house,' then thought they could be 'married' sans minister or witnesses.
You are right with what Paul says that if I am sinning that I should be rebuked. But I'm not. Hutch, you are my friend and I respect you. Yes you may have upset me at first with your comments and I might have commented back harshly (if it came across that way) but they weren't directly entirely at you. I also understand what you are saying about the fellow MBC student that seems to have fallen away. But that is not me. I am in the Word alot and I talk to the Father everyday. I am actively seeking a Church out here that fits my current schedule (which is very difficult give my work schedule). I want to find a church that feeds me. Hutch, I hope this doesn't come as too much of a surprise to you but at MBC I was a rule breaker all the time. I am not a bad person but I didn't feel that the rules were fair. I mean for cryin out loud I know people at that school that think I'm a freakin liberal but I can not help the fact that I'm not closed minded like some of them. Now I'm not saying that is you at all, it is rather far from the true. I am making the fully aware decision to live in the same apartment as Kari and I have no regrets or qualms with it. If I'm on thin ice then that is the way it is. I make my own choices and I hope that you can respect me for the choices I make. Again if I fail I will admit it. But at this time there is nothing to admit nor do expect there to be anything to admit. I hope this open for dialogue. Your brother Dan
PAX
Fogey I'm sorry for that situation but I'm not trying to play house nor am I doing anything that could result in a child. I do feel for you.
What disturbes me is that anyone would think that Dan would have a child and leave the mother or do anything else that is being said. You guys must not know Dan at all. He is the sweetest and most loving person and YOU ALL...Should be lucky he calls you a friend.
Let he who has not sinned throw the first stone
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